Just the stone cold truth

of our great friendship.


1. When you are sad --I will

help you get drunk and plot revenge

against the sorry bastard who made you sad.


2. When you are blue -- I will

try to dislodge whatever is choking you.


3. When you smile -- I will

know you are plotting something

that I must be involved in.


4 When you are scared -- I will

rag on you about it every chance I get.


5.When you are worried -- I will

tell you horrible stories about

how much worse it could be,

until you quit whining.


6. When you are confused -- I will

use little words.


7.When you are sick --I will

tell you tostay the hell away from me

until you are well again.

I don't want whatever you have.


8. When you fall -- I will

point and laugh at your clumsy ass.