merry christmas

[ULuze2]

Twas the night before Christmas and caught at the light,
Was a domestic V8 with no cops in sight,
I will try, I will try, I will try this small motor,
To beat this truck, even with its huffing S-trim blower,
As the light goes green and I pull like no joke,
The LS1 PoweredTruck erupts in a cloud of tire smoke,
Now Smasher, now Revver, now Stroker, now Blitzin,
These are the names of my four VTEC pistons,
Racing ahead I'm the Star of the action,
But I know I'm in trouble when that V8 gets traction,
Grabbing second I hear the RPM sing,
My mirror is blocked by my Shopping Cart Wing,
I now hear the roar of that big monster gaining,
All I can do is keep that four-banger straining,
In a second the shockwave hits with a blast,
And my stickers go flying, a thing of the past,
Don't bother with third, cause now it's too late,
Just try to act cool like you can relate,
Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller,
The driver backs off just to give me a holler,
You can't win them all, he says in fling,
You may not win any, in that silly thing,
I smiled and revved as he pulled out of sight,
With my new mods tomorrow...it will be a better night.

[02CHEV]

it was good

[ULuze2]

found this on another board, laughed my ass off when i read it

[02CHEV]

my wife asked me wtf was i laughing at anden i told her she looked at me like a dumb a**. oh well i still like it

[Red03SilSS]

My girlfriend even laughed at that one!

[02CHEV]

she was in bad mood

[mongoose90584]

That is hillarious. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE>

[Jamest]

I HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCE AT SAR. I RACED A HONDA AND THE LIGHT TURNED GREEN. HE PULL ME TILL ABOUT 200FT AND THEN THE HOSS OPENED UP THANKS TO ALLEN'S TOUCH. I PASSED HIM LIKE HE WAS SITTING STILL. I EVEN FELT THE REAR BREAK LOOSE FOR A MINUTE. I NEED TRACTION BAD AND A STALL.

I LIKE THAT STORY.

JAMEST

[DBYRD]

pretty great stuff right there! i dont have a girlfriend(thank god) but if i did and she didnt laugfh at that i'd prob be single again real soon haha.

[RedHeartbeat]

I know a few of you on here are the reason these were documented....

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas . .
Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding)

* A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

* If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

* A three-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

* If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.

* You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling
fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

*The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

* When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh oh," it's already too late.

* Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

* A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man
says they can only do it in the movies.

* Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year old boy.

* Play Dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

* Super glue is forever.

* No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

* Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

* VCRs do not eject "PB&J" sandwiches, even though TV commercials show they do.

* Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

* Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

* You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

* Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

* The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

* The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
It will, however, make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

(80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.)