Sooo true! Long!

[GMCwantsLS1]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[DamnYankee]

That is absolutely hilarious.

[ff_jeff]

the first part happens to me more often than not, but she never says any thing about feelings, I wait for her to fall asleep then i perform a sleep assault sneaky style!!!!

[Melissa@NelsonPerformance]

oh my goodness that was so funny and true
damnit i dont care who you are that such a good joke and so good that it was worth not getting some that night

[txarkitekt]

What? You roll over and rub one out while she is sleeping?

[RedHeartbeat]

That's how to fix her up

[zeake]

Did you realy do this or you make it up?

[Melissa@NelsonPerformance]

Did you realy do this or you make it up?

i wondered about it, because i would have hit my fiance in the gut if he did that to me.

[txarkitekt]

Dude, Jeff--you must be really good not to wake her...Either you are wayyyyy to small or wayyyyy too fast....

[GMCwantsLS1]

That was a joke son, a joke! I wouldn't be here to tell one if I did that. Still pretty funny.