Just a comedic response...

1. You don't have a distributor? How is your engine running??? Hee hee...
2. Why not just use a 24mm socket?
3. Getting anitfreeze all over the place is just a part of a cam swap...
4. Or just use a 15 quart drain pan....but you have to move it 87 times to catch all the antifreeze...
5. Are you trying to take them off/on after 12 beers? I always leave the rubber gasket in...it holds the spark plug in so I don't drop it into the drain pan...
6. Or use compressed air to hold up valves... but make sure to move air hose when moving to the next pair of valve springs...if not, have fun fishing them out--or be prepared to go get head gaskets...
7. Use an impact wrench. 100X easier...
8. Just spit on it... "That's what she said."
9. Go buy the $8 valve spring compression tool from O'Reilly and use some Southern Engineering skills to fab up one that fits better...
10. Couldn't have said it better...
11. If it doesn't, turn off engine. Valvetrain is ruined by then... Start over with #1...
12. Yup, yup!
13. Or just torque to the feel of your pants or 22 ft.lbs....
14. I like noisy exhaust....
15. No warranty available???? What a crock!