A few days ago, at work, a guy was talkin' smack about how I wasted money on my Z71 to make it fast for no reason...because,...and this is what he said...It's a pickup.

Anyway, he kept running his mouth, but he said he never heard it run. Or seen me driving it. As he kept yappin' his trap, I threw in the fact that I would like to race him to see where I stood, Powerwise and such. He laughed in my face. I said I was serious and told him after work, I would meet him at the HESS. He laughed harder and somehow managed to say, "My SS will smoke the doors off that truck!" I felt my pride come to bear, and told him to be there or I'll let everyone know he punked out on a 4x4. He said, "You got it wiseass."

Midnight came around, as I work second shift, and I headed straight to the HESS and waited. My truck wasn't running, and this Monte SS pulls alongside of mine. Ol' boy is inside laid back in his seat talking to me out his window. He tells me to stop shaking in my boots and let's race. Now, just for the record, a Monte SS does not give me nitemares. And, having No. 8 decals plastered all over it doesn't make it faster.

Well, Horses-ass keeps yelling for me to fire up my puny V-8, as he calls it, and get my ass whoopin' like a man. I told him I was getting there and to calm down, as some friends were showing. Budddies show up and I fire it up. The Exhaust is a growl all the way through until the 5.3 slows to idle. All my buds are like..."Oh shit dude, you messed with the wrong guy"...blah, blah, blah....really screwing with his head. So, he lays on the gas and over revs the engine until the limiter stops the presses. All the guys are laughing at him, and he gets pissed. He's yelling, FU this, FU that...and rushing me. So I throw my truck in gear and roast some meat of my hides, and head to the road....I'm waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and...well, he's still over by my buddies!

I drive back over and ask what the hell is going on. My buddies are busting his balls, telling me he pussied out. He got scared when I linelocked it, and heard the Flowmaster speak, so he didn't want a race

He was saying I had a cam, a supercharger, nitrous and all sorts of crap that was an unfair advantage for me, which I don't have. He forfeited the race and said that, I, TRICKED him.

So technically I won by default...MAN I wish I had placed a monetary wager on that BS Monte.